tadadada tadadada!!!!

Blogging for the second time today....No...not about my crazy life again.....
U know wat...?I woke up miserable today....I still am...But....i think i can feel a tiny lamp of hope shining somewhere...Nothing particular happened today....Magic a great piece of music can do.!!!!!I have been listening to it over and over again for the past 2 hours.....crazy huh???not for me....:):)
When i hear it,i feel ....i still have chance for hope....beautiful things can still happen to me...The world is not always dull and miserable....
I opened the window to a cool breezy night....stared up into the sky...cloudy...but still could see the stars shining here and there....I could smile effortlessly and blow a kiss to the  world outside my window...Everything was suddenly beautiful again.........The otherwise  dull buildings suddenly looked so glittery like a christmas tree!!!The  tree just outside my window looked  sooo green  and elagant with an extra glow...Even,the old dirty cat looked hansome..
I dont know how long this will last...!!!But good thing i am able to appreciate everything at this level ,again....
:):)

Morning tea

Nov 30,Singapore time 9:00 am.....

I am in front of my lappy with a hot cup of morning tea....I looked at the "to do" list on my desktop....a loong list...Strange thing since i'm at the end of my academic year...Never mind!!!!Sigh!!!!

I took a sip from the cup...haaah!!!!perfect !!!!!May be the one perfect thing in my life now....(OMG!!! how pathetic!!!)

I remained staring at the monitor...My mind wandering through yesterday's sequence of events......The interview hall....the questions...the waiting...the walk in the rain as if in trance...the brilliant flash of lightning before my eyes and the big bang that followed......the presentation hall.....Heng Chun Huat!!!!.....the disappointment....!!!...

I dont want to remember that day ...ever ,ever ,ever again.....Wish i had a "forgetting" potion....

Oh...I hear noise from the next room....somebody blowing the nose...It's my roomie waking up....Now....enough of the daydreaming.....Reality in front of me...I have to live my life and face all the hurdles on my own...I might not have any help or even a shoulder to cry on....But i have to live my life....with courage....And one day...one fine day.....I'll see light at the end of the tunnel.......My life will be all bright again!!!!

wow!!!Wonder how long i'll have to walk before i see this!!!!

Faaaaate!!!!!!

I never believed in fate..But i have no idea what i'm doing  here in such a horrible situation  if it is not because of the so called "fate"!!!I should be with my friends and family enjoying my life......

No..it's not about the place..Nobody in their right mind will tell Singapore is a bad place to live...I blamed it all on th country for so looong that it took me 1 whole year to reconsider the situation.....May be the problem is with me.....hmm...very hard for the truth to sink in......Otherwise why is all the bad luck in the world happening to me one after the other...I wish i could take a break!!!!I wish i could walk on the beach,bare legged, with no thoughts haunting me.....Bdw,this is my happy place....:)..I picturize myself walking barelegged on a beach with beautiful white sands and clear blue waters wearing a simple loose white gown...sometimes ,with a second person...:).....Thinking of nothing but the beauty of the nature before me...May be it looks familiar to some of  you...well,I borrowed it from some old music video...Anyway,....if it happens to me in reality someday,then i will consider myself happy...someday!!!!!it seems to be like "never"...!!!But as Justin Bieber says "I will never say never"!!!!!:)

May be the fate that brought me here will take me to my "happy place".....soon!!!!!

Keeping the fingers crossed!!!!!!